No longer “student,” but now a “senior”
At the current hospital I’m working at, there’s this huge emphasis on whether someone is a “junior” vs. “senior” SRNA. This is new to me because for the last year, I have only known one role — that of the lowest on the totem pole: student.
Now, people introduce me as “This is Quinn, the new senior from [CRNA school].” And I’m rarely assigned my own case line up anymore. Those are given to the juniors, who need the learning opportunity. I’m always assigned as “float” — bouncing between cases as an extra pair of hands, or relieving people for breaks.
It’s novel. Wait, is that a trace of prestige and status that I sense in the title, “senior”? Am I finally regarded as someone who knows stuff, instead of the empty vessel that you start as in any learning program?
Woah. I know stuff now you guys. Not a lot. But definitely some.
On the other hand, now that the level of expectation isn’t on the ground anymore, I have to do more critical thinking. I’m so used to politely feeling out my attending MDA / CRNA with “so how do you like to do your deep extubations, I know there’s a few different ways” or “do you like precedex or nah?”
For example, the other day my attending allowed me to intubate by myself, which was extremely cool, and felt extremely weird. A CA-1 resident was by my side as an extra pair of hands, and both of us were surprised and a little nervous about intubating without the attending there.
Me: (reading the text from the attending) He says to go ahead and intubate
Resident: Like, go ahead without him?
Me: … that’s what it says…
Resident & me: (looking at each other, both quiet and slightly scared)
It felt so weird, and as I got ready for intubation, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. I had to triple check that I wasn’t missing anything — meds ready, airway equipment ready, suction ready, IV running, end tidal O2 good, bed height appropriate…
Me: Ok… I guess… we’re ready?
Then I did it. And it was awesome. And it turned out the attending was watching through the door :) I also got to extubate alone too!